I know DR, I know. I said no hard hitting topics, but this one has really got me.
For a few years I’ve chopped and changed and struggled a bit with getting to grips with contraception.
As much as I love a list, I can be a bit of a scatter brain – even with the best intended routine, hiding place, alarm on my phone, I would still forget to take my pill.
Que a mixed up cycle, random spotting and most importantly: no barrier to the swimmers. When I first went on the pill I blamed my weight gain on it, though as you may have guessed, I do enjoy the odd slice of cake or 10, so it may have been down to that…
Last year, I thought I better get on it and switched to have the implant put in. I chose this because I used to get serious headaches from the drop in oestrogen when on my break whilst taking the pill. If you’re considering it/about to have it done, please ignore the horror stories. Yes you will get an almighty bruise (maybe don’t get it done in the height of summer like I – you will look odd in a long sleeve top when everyone else is half naked). But a bruise is about as bad as it gets.
In my case:
The pros? You’re always covered and don’t need to keep remembering to take the little pills each day and your man doesn’t need to wear protection. (Though if you’re not in a relationship, make him – no one has time for an STI. Not that I’ve had one I’d like to add, but I imagine it’s no party).
The cons? Any desire you may have once had will vanish. I felt flat, unsexy and honestly? If we’re getting personal? Even when it was getting sexy, however turned on I was, things were a bit like the Sahara. If you know what I mean.
On more of a serious note DR, I’m pretty certain all contraceptive, be it pills or implants, have had a real effect on my mental health. I’m the daughter of two mental health professionals, so the topic has always been in the background to make me a little more aware, but not immune.
After a lot of research I’ve made the decision to come off any contraception entirely. We’re not ready for a baby so are sill keeping Durex in business. On a side note – we do anyway because I’m a sufferer of cystitis, and I tell you ladies, wearing one of those bad boys has almost stopped me getting it entirely – can I hear a hell yeah?
I passionately believe that the contraception I was taking was a real ingredient in causing me to suffer from anxiety. I reached points where I was crying for no apparent reason in the middle of a shopping centre and needing to go home. I was having to constantly do sudoku puzzles or colouring in, just to stop the thoughts from taking over my mind and then I even needed to take beta blockers, just to stop me from self-com-busting.
Since ditching the contraception (about 3 months ago now), I can honestly say I feel myself again. That’s not to say I don’t still get a little sad, worried or cranky sometimes, but at least now I know I feel that way because it’s me feeling that way – not because of the amount or type of hormones I’m taking are making me. I feel pretty free, damn relieved and I want to share that with you.
I’m not saying that it has this effect on everyone, but it may just be something to have a little think about, or a nibble if we’re staying on the cake theme eh?