Apparently there’s a name for how I’ve been feeling/acting over the last few months – ‘nesting’
No surprise there though really right? Everything seems to have a diagnosis or a term now, but in this instance I find it quite comforting. Knowing that actually, it’s pretty normal and many people out there are probably feeling the same thing – maybe even you DR (dear reader remember).
It’s defined as “the tendency to arrange one’s immediate surroundings to create a place where one feels secure, comfortable or in control.
In short, at the tender age of 23, I am bursting to have my own home.
Just to clear it up straight away, I love my parents to pieces, they are wonderful and my home is nice.
But the truth is, it doesn’t feel like my home any more. It’s begun to feel as though I am now living in my parents home, but I don’t have a home of my own to go back to.
My feeling this way has been the source of some conflict at home, particularly with my Mum, so I’ve done a lot of thinking about it and maybe you can relate?
I’ve reached a point where almost everything frustrates me, the mess (I’m not a clean freak, but it’s not my mess – so it’s annoying), the excessive volumes of ‘stuff’ (who needs 6 sets of dinner plates in a house of 3 people? That’s 36 plates people) the bizarre choice of cushion colour and the inability to buy my own home ‘stuff’ that I love, because I just have no where to put it.
As hard as I try to not let it effect me, inevitably after a while it does build up and I turn into a little yappy terrier. Then, being the smushy person I am, I then feel heavy waves of guilt for being snappy.
I remember thinking just a couple of years ago. “God, how on earth do people ever feel ready to move out, to ‘fly the nest’ and make that move to leave their childhood, family home?” I truthfully never thought I would reach a feeling where I feel ready to make that move. Don’t get me wrong, the day I do it, there will be floods of tears, but they’ll be happy and sad. I’ll be wretched to end that era, to know I won’t live with my lovely parents again and I’ll feel guilty for leaving them. But, I’ll also be so happy and proud to have reached that point – excited to start the new chapter of my life with my Ginge (the boyfriend is redhead).
So there we have it – a mixture of frustration, guilt and a longing for my own little nest. It’s not going to happen just yet though, I have many more months of saving ahead and steps to go through. In my next chat to you DR, I think I’m going to talk about getting ready for the process of getting your own 1st home, and how to ease your feeling of ‘nesting’ while you wait.